me, myself and i

I've been wanting to start a blog for a very long time but I never had the courage to. As weird as this may sound, i'm terrified of what people think of me. This fear of what people think of me stopped me from expressing my own feeling, stopped me from thinking for myself, and over the years i realized i lost my voice, i lost my own identity.

this blog is for me to learn to express myself, to learn to not care what i think others think of me, but simply learn to be myself, and learn to face my feelings. To my friends i'm always happy, ditsy, shallow person (i think?) partly its my fault because i act that way, but by being happy, and always laughing is the only way i learned to hide my feelings. Because by laughing so much you eventually convince yourself nothing is wrong, in fact you make yourself forget what is wrong, but deep down you will always have the unshakable feeling that something is amiss. Even to my closest and best-est friend i find it hard to tell her what i feel, or what i'm thinking, that's how hard it is for me to open up, because i'm scared she'll judge, even though i know she's the last person that would judge me (hopefully (: ) . This is the reason i named my blog opening up, for me to learn to open up, for me to let my mind roam, and not to scared about what others think. All the emotions i bottled up inside all these years i'm gonna let it all go and restart.